Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Smart Indian!!!

An Indian man walks into the New York City bank and asks for the loan officer.

He... tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need
Some form of security for the loan.

So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank.

The loan officer consults the president of the bank,
Produces all the required items and everything check out to be OK.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a security for the loan.

The bank president and the Loan Officer had a good laugh at the Indian
For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and taking only $5,000 has a loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari
Into the banks underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays $5000 and the interest which comes to it $15.41.

Seeing this, loan officer says,

“Sir, we are very happy to have your business
And this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and
Found out that you were a multi millionaire.

What puzzled us was why would you bother to borrow $5000?”

The Indian replies
"Where else in the New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks and
For only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return".

Sorry, Wrong Number


An American man on a business trip thinks of calling his wife. He dials his residence number from the hotel phone.

American man: Hello!
Reply: Hello!
American man smirks as it is an unfamiliar male Voice. He asks: Who's this?
Reply: Sir, I'm servant of this house!

American man: (Surprised!) Where did you come from?
Servant: Madam kept me here, yesterday.

American man: Ok, go and call madam!
Servant: She's sleeping with sir and told me not to disturb.

American man turns red and wild with anger. He screams into the phone, "Listen you bloody servant, listen to me. I'm the real owner of the house you're standing in".
Servant: Then who's the one here?
American man: Not sure who that f**king b@st@rd is. Do one thing for me and I'll pay you $50,000 once I'm back. Go and get the gun which is hanging in the drawing room.

After a few seconds servant is back...

Servant: Sir, I got the gun!
American man: And just around there in the drawers should be the bullets, take them and load into the gun.

After a minute...

Servant: It's ready now.
American man: Good! Now get into the room and shoot both of them.

After a minute...

Servant: Sir, I shot both of them, what do I do with the dead bodies?
American man: Just dig a hole into the garden and bury both of them in it.

Servant: Paused for a min! This is the 50th floor, there's no garden here!

American man: Paused for a min! Ooooops, sorry - wrong number!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

At a doctor's clinic

One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him "OK, what happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked.


Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.... .?"

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"