Sunday, July 4, 2010
Test
One a fine day, she was walking along a lake shore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.
The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you! Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!"
Another day she went out with her second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help.
The second son-in-law too jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wordings "Thank you! Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!"
The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same. But that guy got scared and ran away without offering any help to her. The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.
The next day the third son-in-law was suprised to see a new brand new Rolls-Royce waiting at his doorsteps with the following wordings
Travian games IN
!
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!
"Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law! !"
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Prescription !!
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Monday, March 8, 2010
Whom to blame..
They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.
When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband
saw a medicine bottle open.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and
keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen
totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle
fascinated by its colour and drank it all. It happened to be
a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital,
where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified
how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and
saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?
Scroll down for the Answer...
down...
Scroll down...
down...
ANSWER :
The husband just said" "I am with you Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life.
There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away,
this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child.
What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy
from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective,
there would be much fewer problems in the world.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiven, selfishness,
and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult
as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY :
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,
whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.
By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The clock is running
Every one of us has such a 'bank'. Its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You must live in the present -on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today!!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
23 times
45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their
window.
The Father asked his Son, What is this?
The Son replied It is a crow.
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, What is this?
The Son said Father, I have just now told you Its a crow.
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,
What is this?
At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Sons tone
when he said to his Father with a rebuff. Its a crow, a crow.
A little after, the Father again asked his Son for the 4th time, What is this?
This time the Son shouted at his Father, Why do you keep asking me the
same question again and again, although I have told you so many times
˜IT IS A CROW. Are you not able to understand this?
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old
tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On
opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read
it, the following words were written in the diary
Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a
crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was,
and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him
lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for
23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for
my innocent child.
While the little child asked him 23 times What is this, the Father had
felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and
when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times,
the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So..
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as
a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble
and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this
aloud I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me
ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their
selfless love on me.
They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and
heat to make me a person presentable in the society today.
Say a prayer to God. I will serve my parents in the BEST way. I will
say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they
behave.
Thanks for spending ur time on reading this story, Hope U r forwarding
this to all ur friends
DO TAKE CARE OF THEM. THEY ARE THE REAL SUPPORT.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
On a dark and foggy night
There was a contest in a company to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line "On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the
This is what one professional wrote for the contest....... surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story ;;))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the
I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this
guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready"
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any “re-scooter” is available in system? I find only “re-cycle”, but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Politically correct jokes...too good!!
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon , we have copies of
everything."
============ ========= ========= ========= =====
2 .Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my
condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
3.Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bar man, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The bar man says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
============ ========= ========= ========= =====
4.
Pakistani on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ...... Problem Solved!!!
============ ========= ========= ========= =====
5. A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
"Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say: "Extremist kills innocent American dog "