Ramayan in PUNJABI...

Good Laugh Reduce Stress

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.



2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY



3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.



4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.



5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC



6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.



7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.


9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.


10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.


12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

The power of prayers

During the 2nd world war several thousand allied soldiers, mostly British, were trapped by the Germans at a French coast called Dunkirk.

All escape routes were sealed off. The sea escape route was impossible as the German submarines and war ships were heavily guarding it.

The Germans were closing in from all other directions and a bloody massacre was expected the next day. No one was expected to live.


The British PM, Winston Churchill told the nation, "There is only one hope. Let's all pray for them."


Throughout that day and night the whole of Britain prayed for them. Special masses and prayers were conducted in every church.


That night, suddenly, there was a heavy and dense fog. It was totally the wrong season for fog and it never happened before. Under the cover of the heavy fog, the British ships crossed the French channel as the German subs and war ships could not detect them in the fog and rescued each and every one of the soldiers.


As soon as the ships returned home, the fog vanished.


How and why the heavy fog formed and vanished is still one of the biggest meteorological mysteries.

One for you, and one for me. One for you, one for me

At The Cemetery

On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the
cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucket with pecans and
sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, and one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed,
he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "It's Satan and the
Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery."

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met
an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "You won't believe what I just heard.
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up souls."

The man said. "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk?"

When the boy insisted, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by
the fence they hear, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for
me"

The old man whispered, "You you've been tellin' the truth! Let's
see the devil himself."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still
unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought
iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a
glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for
you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll
be done."

They say the old guy made it back to town 5 minutes before the boy.

story of a man & three women

Here's a story of a man & three women. One (a prostitute)one (a mistress)and one (a wife).

When he makes love to the first she thinks"Just hurry up and finish."
The second one thinks"Just relax slow down and make this last longer."
The third one lays there and thinks"I'd think we should paint the ceiling Beige."

story tortoise and a hare

Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster .

They decided to settle the argument with a race. They agreed on a route
and started off the race.

The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time.
Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought he'd sit under
a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race. He sat under
the tree and soon fell asleep.

The tortoise plodding on overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ.

The hare woke up
and realized that he'd lost the race.

The moral- "Slow and steady wins the race. This is the version of the
story that we've all grown up with."

THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

there are few more interesting
things.....it continues as follows......

The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some
soul-searching.
He realized that he'd lost the race only because he had been overconfident,
careless and lax.
If he had not taken things for granted, there's no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to another race.
The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare went all out and ran without
stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.
The moral - " Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady.
It's good to be slow and steady; but it's better to be fast and reliable."

THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there's no
way it can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted.

It thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but
on a slightly different route. The hare agreed. They started off. In keeping
with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and
ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a
couple of kilometres on the other side of the river.

The hare sat there
wondering what to do.
In the meantime the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race.

The moral - "First identify your core competency and then change the
playing field to suit your core competency."

THE STORY STILL HASN'T ENDED

The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become pretty good friends
and they did some thinking together.

Both realized that the last race could
have been run much better So they decided to do the last race again, but to
run as a team this time.

They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam
across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried
the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. They both felt a
greater sense of satisfaction than they'd felt earlier.

The moral - "It's good to be individually brilliant and to have strong
core competencies; but unless you're able to work in a team and harness each
other's core competencies, you'll always perform below par because
there will always be situations at which you'll do poorly and someone else
does well. Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person
with the relevant core competency for a situation take leadership.
Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failures. The
hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure. The
tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as
he could."

In life, when faced with failure,
sometimes it is appropriate to work
harder and put in more effort.

Sometimes it is appropriate to change strategy and try something different.

And sometimes it is appropriate to do both.

The hare and the tortoise also learnt another vital lesson. When we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the
situation, we perform far better.

To sum up- the story of the hare and tortoise has much to say: Chief among them are that fast and consistent will always beat slow and steady;work to your competencies; pooling resources and working as a team will always beat individual performers; never give up when faced with failure; & finally, compete against the situation - not against a rival.

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man". And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."