Solve this puzzle..........

Solve this puzzle..........


A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password
that was required. He waited by the door and listened.

A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The
member replied, "six " and was let in.

A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The
member replied, "three" and was let in.

The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The
doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five."

But he was not let in. What should have he said?

Comon guys, put on your thinking caps & get the solution......

Post your ans......

HR Manager in Heaven........too good!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful
Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind
of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
...
...
....
....
....
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"wardSourceID

NO ride ??

A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up.

The driver asked, "Hey, little lady, need a lift?"

"Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station.."

The driver replied, "OK, but first you have to f**k me! No f**k, no ride."

She said, "I`m sorry, I don`t need a ride that badly."

So the driver pulled away. All this time, the driver had a parrot on his shoulder.

The parrot started saying, "No f**k, no ride! No f**k, no ride!"

The driver said, "You had better shut up, bird, or I`m gonna throw you in back with the chickens!"

About two miles down the road, the parrot said, "No f**k, no ride!"

So the driver slammed on the breaks and threw him in back with the chickens! About 2 more miles further down the road, the driver heard sirens and saw flashing lights, so he pulled over.
He got out of the truck and approached the officer.

"What`s the problem, officer. I wasn`t speeding was I?"

The officer said, "I wasn`t pulling you over for speeding. I just wanted to inform you that you have a parrot throwing chickens out the trailer screaming, "No f**k, no ride! No f**k, no ride!"

Boys have more control

A boy is telling proudly to his close friend as to what he did with his girlfriend whom he took to a hotel room for three consequtive nights.

Boy to his friend "First day I took out her cloths waited for some time and we came back."

Friend asks him "Only this much? Why?

Boy Reples, " Because, She should not feel that I do not have courage to undress her.

Boy further tells his friend, " Second day, I undressed her and also undressed my self, and then we came back."

Friend again asked him, " Reallly? That's all?

Boy Replies. " Ya. Because, she should not feel that I can not control myself".

Boy further reports to his friend, "On third and last day, I undressed her, then I undressed myself, then I masterbetted myself and we came back immeditely."

Friend shockingly asks him " No sex with her at all? Why?"

Boy replies, "Ya. Because she should not feel that I can not manage with out her"

FACTS OF LIFE

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them
while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a
referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always
right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried -
but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after
you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the
one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll
regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before
you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or
she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and
she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to
others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his
job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between
address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents
have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools
talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the
father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a
formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the
fight begins!

[24] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we
do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs
Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better
than being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every
mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every
neighbour has it.

NINE MONTHS LATER

NINE MONTHS LATER

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realise it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 'Don't worry ,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?' 'Yes, I do 'said Bob'. 'Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.' 'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?' Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?' 'She just died and left me everything.' (And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... I know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Easy way to reduce weight

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym
guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the
first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead
him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and
ladders and tell him to wait a minute.
He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and
out steps a beautiful & sexy girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."


He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.
Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down
the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's
about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes
the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure
enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.


He's back on the street and starts to think..
"God, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.
Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.

"If I catch you, you're mine."

Punjabi khoon vich hundi hai....

Dedicated to all the Punjabi's…rest all just enjoy…… ;)

Ek baar ek bihari bhaiya sardar ke paas aata hai aur kahta hai ki babu ji punjabi sikhni hai...

Sardar hansa aur kahta hai ki tu nahi seekh sakta punjabi, punjabi taa khoon wich hundi hai...

Bihar agle din phir sardar ke paas pahunch jata hai aur kahta hai ki babu ji , punjabi sikhni hai,

sardar phir usko kahta hai ki eh nahi ho sakda, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai....

teesray din phir bhaiye ke andar ungli hoti hai aur woh phir chala jaata hai sardar ke paas ki punjabi sikhni hai,

sardar kahta hai ki bhaiya ji, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai, agar itne ungli ho rahi hai to aao sikha deta hu punjabi..

puray ek mahine traininng chalti hai..

bhaiya pure dil ke saath punjabi sikhta hai...

end mai aati hai imtehaan ki ghadi, sardar kahta hai ki aaj agal tu imtihaan paas kar gaya to aa gai tainu punjabi .....

woh ek table pe pani ka gilas giraata hai aur bolta hai ki isko punjabi mai kya bolega ...

Bhaiya : eh paani kinne sutiya ????

sardar kahta hai ki galat hai, second chance

bhaiya : eh glaas kinne doliya ???

sardar phir kahta hai galat, last chance

bhaiya :eh paani kinne doliya hai??

sardar kahta hai o chhad yaar...

sardar apne chhote ladke ko bulata hai aur table dikhata hua kahta hai : oye chhotu idhar aa, aa dekh ..

chhotu table par paani pada hua dekh ke kahta hai : bhainchod, Eh maa kinne chudai hai ???

Sardar bhaiye ko kahta hai -- maine pahle hi bola tha ki punjabi khoon wich hundi hai...

english skills!!!

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'..)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha....

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Haahhhahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Men are better friends

Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.
The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.


Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!


Conclusion : Men are better friends

A farmer has three sons -- Joke

A farmer has three sons.

One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him
that he is graduating from school and would really like
to get a car.

His father says, "Son, come with me."

He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor
and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm and
I promise that as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you
a car."

The boy was not too happy but he did understand that
situation and said, "Okay, Dad."

A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches
him wanting a new two-wheel bicycle.

Well, he gets the same excuse. "as soon as that tractor
is paid for."

Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest,
comes bugging him for a tricycle.

Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor
being paid for first.

While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a
little disgusted with the whole thing, sees a rooster
mating with one of the hens and promptly goes over and
kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, mumbling
to himself the whole time.

His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something
like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"

The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and
says, "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that
damn tractor is paid for!"

Good Laugh Reduce Stress

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.



2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY



3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.



4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.



5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC



6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.



7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.


9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.


10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.


12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

story of a man & three women

Here's a story of a man & three women. One (a prostitute)one (a mistress)and one (a wife).

When he makes love to the first she thinks"Just hurry up and finish."
The second one thinks"Just relax slow down and make this last longer."
The third one lays there and thinks"I'd think we should paint the ceiling Beige."

story tortoise and a hare

Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster .

They decided to settle the argument with a race. They agreed on a route
and started off the race.

The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time.
Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought he'd sit under
a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race. He sat under
the tree and soon fell asleep.

The tortoise plodding on overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ.

The hare woke up
and realized that he'd lost the race.

The moral- "Slow and steady wins the race. This is the version of the
story that we've all grown up with."

THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

there are few more interesting
things.....it continues as follows......

The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some
soul-searching.
He realized that he'd lost the race only because he had been overconfident,
careless and lax.
If he had not taken things for granted, there's no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to another race.
The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare went all out and ran without
stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.
The moral - " Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady.
It's good to be slow and steady; but it's better to be fast and reliable."

THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there's no
way it can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted.

It thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but
on a slightly different route. The hare agreed. They started off. In keeping
with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and
ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a
couple of kilometres on the other side of the river.

The hare sat there
wondering what to do.
In the meantime the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race.

The moral - "First identify your core competency and then change the
playing field to suit your core competency."

THE STORY STILL HASN'T ENDED

The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become pretty good friends
and they did some thinking together.

Both realized that the last race could
have been run much better So they decided to do the last race again, but to
run as a team this time.

They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam
across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried
the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. They both felt a
greater sense of satisfaction than they'd felt earlier.

The moral - "It's good to be individually brilliant and to have strong
core competencies; but unless you're able to work in a team and harness each
other's core competencies, you'll always perform below par because
there will always be situations at which you'll do poorly and someone else
does well. Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person
with the relevant core competency for a situation take leadership.
Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failures. The
hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure. The
tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as
he could."

In life, when faced with failure,
sometimes it is appropriate to work
harder and put in more effort.

Sometimes it is appropriate to change strategy and try something different.

And sometimes it is appropriate to do both.

The hare and the tortoise also learnt another vital lesson. When we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the
situation, we perform far better.

To sum up- the story of the hare and tortoise has much to say: Chief among them are that fast and consistent will always beat slow and steady;work to your competencies; pooling resources and working as a team will always beat individual performers; never give up when faced with failure; & finally, compete against the situation - not against a rival.

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man". And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."