loves and ego

Once upon a time there was an island

where all the feelings lived together

there was a storm in the sea one day

and the island was about to get drowned

every feeling was scared but not love

love made a boat to escape

.

every feeling boarded in the boat

only one feeling was left

love got down

to see who was it

it was ego...

love tried and tried but ego wasn't moving.......

also the water was rising

every one asked love to leave him and come into the boat, but love was made to love.
all feeling escaped and the storm took over island, at last love dies with ego on the island...

Love dies because of ego.......

* if you really love your friends... Send ( forward ) this mail to all of them......

.

__,_._,___

FACTS OF LIFE

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them
while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a
referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always
right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried -
but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after
you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the
one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll
regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before
you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or
she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and
she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to
others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his
job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between
address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents
have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools
talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the
father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a
formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the
fight begins!

[24] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we
do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs
Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better
than being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every
mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every
neighbour has it.

NINE MONTHS LATER

NINE MONTHS LATER

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realise it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 'Don't worry ,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?' 'Yes, I do 'said Bob'. 'Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.' 'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?' Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?' 'She just died and left me everything.' (And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... I know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Easy way to reduce weight

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym
guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the
first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead
him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and
ladders and tell him to wait a minute.
He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and
out steps a beautiful & sexy girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."


He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.
Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down
the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's
about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes
the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure
enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.


He's back on the street and starts to think..
"God, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.
Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.

"If I catch you, you're mine."

Punjabi khoon vich hundi hai....

Dedicated to all the Punjabi's…rest all just enjoy…… ;)

Ek baar ek bihari bhaiya sardar ke paas aata hai aur kahta hai ki babu ji punjabi sikhni hai...

Sardar hansa aur kahta hai ki tu nahi seekh sakta punjabi, punjabi taa khoon wich hundi hai...

Bihar agle din phir sardar ke paas pahunch jata hai aur kahta hai ki babu ji , punjabi sikhni hai,

sardar phir usko kahta hai ki eh nahi ho sakda, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai....

teesray din phir bhaiye ke andar ungli hoti hai aur woh phir chala jaata hai sardar ke paas ki punjabi sikhni hai,

sardar kahta hai ki bhaiya ji, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai, agar itne ungli ho rahi hai to aao sikha deta hu punjabi..

puray ek mahine traininng chalti hai..

bhaiya pure dil ke saath punjabi sikhta hai...

end mai aati hai imtehaan ki ghadi, sardar kahta hai ki aaj agal tu imtihaan paas kar gaya to aa gai tainu punjabi .....

woh ek table pe pani ka gilas giraata hai aur bolta hai ki isko punjabi mai kya bolega ...

Bhaiya : eh paani kinne sutiya ????

sardar kahta hai ki galat hai, second chance

bhaiya : eh glaas kinne doliya ???

sardar phir kahta hai galat, last chance

bhaiya :eh paani kinne doliya hai??

sardar kahta hai o chhad yaar...

sardar apne chhote ladke ko bulata hai aur table dikhata hua kahta hai : oye chhotu idhar aa, aa dekh ..

chhotu table par paani pada hua dekh ke kahta hai : bhainchod, Eh maa kinne chudai hai ???

Sardar bhaiye ko kahta hai -- maine pahle hi bola tha ki punjabi khoon wich hundi hai...

Doll Story......!! nice one

There was once a man and a woman who had been married for more than sixty years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had absolutely no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

One day, after many, many years, the old woman got very sick, and the doctor said she would never recover. The woman knew it was about the time to reveal her little secret to her husband, and asked him to take down the box and bring it to her bedside. When the man opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money in the total of $25,000. The man asked his wife about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she old woman said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and crochet a doilie."

There were only 2 doilies in the box. The man was beyond himself with joy. His wife was angry with him only twice in all the years of their happy marriage and love! "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."

Brave Software Engineer

Plan B !! nice story

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... But sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Always think of having 'Plan B’!

english skills!!!

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'..)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha....

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Haahhhahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loving Husband !!

The Loving Husband

A man had two of the best tickets for the FA Cup final.

As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting
in the seat next to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind
would
have a Seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event
of the year, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed
to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we
haven't been together since we got married."

"Oh .... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you
couldn't
find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the
seat?"


The man shakes his head sadly and replies.












"No. They're all at the funeral."

Men are better friends

Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.
The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.


Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!


Conclusion : Men are better friends

A farmer has three sons -- Joke

A farmer has three sons.

One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him
that he is graduating from school and would really like
to get a car.

His father says, "Son, come with me."

He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor
and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm and
I promise that as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you
a car."

The boy was not too happy but he did understand that
situation and said, "Okay, Dad."

A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches
him wanting a new two-wheel bicycle.

Well, he gets the same excuse. "as soon as that tractor
is paid for."

Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest,
comes bugging him for a tricycle.

Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor
being paid for first.

While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a
little disgusted with the whole thing, sees a rooster
mating with one of the hens and promptly goes over and
kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, mumbling
to himself the whole time.

His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something
like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"

The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and
says, "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that
damn tractor is paid for!"

Different Thinking For Taj Mahal

Different Thinking For Taj Mahal

As a Bachelor
Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti
Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon
Lekin Mumtaz Nahi Milti!

As A Lover
Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti
Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon,
Mumtaz Mil Gayi Hai Magar
Woh Shaadi Nahi Karti

As A Married One
Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti
Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon
Lekin Mumtaz Nahi Marti


After 5 years of Marriage
Tajmahal Kya Cheez Hai,
Isse Badi Imarat Banaunga,
Mumtaz To Marke Dafan Hui Thi,
Tuzhe To Mein Zinda Dafnaunga

Report on New York Times on Indian Elections

It is truly the greatest show on Earth, an ode to a diverse and
democratic ethos, where 700 million + of humanity vote, providing their
small part in directing their ancient civilization into the future. It
is no less impressive when done in a neighborhood which includes
de-stabilizing and violent Pakistan, China, and Burma.

Its challenges are immense, more so probably than anywhere else,
particularly in development and fending off terrorism -- but considering
these challenges and its neighbors, it is even more astounding that the
most diverse nation on Earth, with hundreds of languages, all religions
and cultures, is not only surviving, but thriving.

The nation where Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism were born,
which is the second largest Muslim nation on Earth; where Christianity
has existed for 2000 years; where the oldest Jewish synagogues and
Jewish communities have resided since the Romans burnt their 2nd temple;
where the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan government in exile reside; where
the Zorostrians from Persia have thrived since being thrown out of their
ancient homeland; where Armenians and Syrians and many others have to
come live; where the Paris-based OECD said was the largest economy on
Earth for 1500 of the last 2000 years, including the 2nd largest, only
200 years ago; where 3 Muslim Presidents have been elected, where a Sikh
is Prime Minister and the head of the ruling party a Catholic Italian
woman, where the President is also a woman, succeeding a Muslim
President who as a rocket scientist is a hero in the nation; where a
booming economy is lifting 40 million out of poverty each year and is
expected to have the majority of its population in the middle class
already, equal to the entire US population, by 2025; where its optimism
and vibrancy is manifested in its movies, arts, economic growth, and
voting, despite all the incredible challenges and hardships; where all
the great powers are vying for influence, as it itself finds its place
in the world.

Where all of this is happening, is India, and as greater than 1/10th of
humanity gets ready to vote, it is an inspiration to all the World.

- V Mitchell, New York, NY

Special Thanks to New York Times

एक अजीबो गरीब प्राणी

आवश्यक सूचना :

आज हम एक अजीबो गरीब प्राणी के बारे में पढायेंगे . . . . . . . ..

इस जंतु का नाम है "GirlFriend" . . . . . .

ये अक्सर "Boyfriend" के साथ पाई जाती है !

इनका पोस्टिक आहार "Boyfriend" का भेजा होता है !

इनको अक्सर नाराज होने का नाटक करते हुए देखा जा सकता है ! पर अगर पैसे खर्च किये जाये तो फीर नाटक ख़त्म हो जाता है...

इस प्राणी का सबसे खतरनाक हथियार रोना और इमोशनली ब्लैक मेल करना होता है !

गर्ल फ्रेंड से ब्रेक अप पर टेंशन नाम की बीमारी हो जाती है, जिसका कोई इलाज नहीं.. ये ही एक ऐसा प्राणी है जिसपे कोई विस्वास नहीं करता है...

गर्ल फ्रेंड के लिए बॉय फ्रेंड कुछ भी कर सकता है, यहाँ तक की हस्ते हस्ते कुत्ता भी बनता है... इस प्राणी में बहुत सारे अवगुण फीर भी ये प्राणी इतनी आसानी से नहीं मिलता है, ये प्राणी भाव बहुत खाता है, पर इस प्राणी के पास होता कुछ भी नहीं है जो वास्तविक हो जिसपे भाव खाया जा सके..... ये प्राणी नर प्राणी को बर्बाद करने में कोई भी कसर नहीं छोरता है... ये प्राणी रुपया को आसानी से सूंघ सकता है......

सावधान .

TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HANDS OFF

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.



As they were about to wish each other good night at the front door, the
guy started feeling a little more romantic. With an air of confidence,
he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her
"Honey, would you give me a kiss ?"


Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"


" Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asked grinning at her.


" No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"


"Oh come on!


There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".


" No way, it's just too risky!"


"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".


" No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".


"Oh yes you can. Please?"


" No, no. I just can't" " I'm begging you ... "


Suddenly.....Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and


The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And
in a sleepy voice she said,


" Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
needed, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake
....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL.........."

CHILDREN'S INNOCENCE

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind.

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'
'How about transportation? ' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're
married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'

CHILDREN'S INNOCENCE

TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind.

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'
'How about transportation? ' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're
married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.


Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!


Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.


Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.


Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.


After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Love Poem

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
I see your face when I am dreaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
I thought that I could love no other

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
My love, you take my breath away.

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Simplicity of Men VS Complexity of Women !

HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting

weird. We had made

plans to meet at a

cafe to have some coffee. I was

shopping with my friends

all day long, so I

thought he was upset at the fact that I

was

a bit

late,

but he made no

comment.Conversation wasn't flowing so

I suggested that

we go somewhere

quiet so we could talk, he agreed but


he kept quiet and

absent.I

Asked

him what was wrong - he
said,

"Nothing."I asked him if

it was my fault

that he was upset. He said it
had

nothing to do with me

and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I
loved

him, he simply

smiled and kept

driving. I can't explain his

behavior; I don't know

why he didn't say,

"I love u, too."When we got home I felt

as if I had lost

him,
He just sat

there and watched TV.

He seemed distant and absent.Finally I

decided to go to

bed. About 10

minutes later he came to bed. I decided

that I could not

take it anymore,

so I decided to confront him with the

situation but he

had fallen asleep.I

started crying and cried until I too

fell asleep. I

don't know what to

do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts

are with someone

else. My life is a

disaster.

HIS DIARY

Yesterday Mumbai Indians lost the cricket match

against Rajastan Royals .

DAAM IT.



NOW that's called

Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

Sardar Jokes

☺ Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.


☺ Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

☺ Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

☺ Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

☺ Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

☺ Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

☺ Sardar in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

☺ Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.


☺ After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"